10-19-18
as I surely live and breathe I did it.
I told him Wednesday that I wouldn't put up with it any more and I did it
I thought I would die doing it
but im still here and well lets just sell after all the crying stopped I can see clearly out of my eyes. (literally)
I wrote runners today just as a way to say that soul mates will always end up back together better in the future. I don't have an expected outcome any more I have relinquished the idea of anything futuristically. I just want peace right now for me and for my own mental stability. I want to be single.
Runners
I will never give up on love
or on us
I will love with confidence
that one day I will have a life chaging romance with him
not just the idea
but actually his person
wholly
i will have the romance I dream of with the right to everything fair and equal.
i will not settle for less
nor will i hide from love
when its love
it just works and you know it
im certain i will recover
and
i will bounce back from hurt pain and loss
i am setting up new goals for myself now
and focusing on them with a heavy urgency to get them done
even though i haven't started them yet
and it seems difficult to even get focused to pursue them
but i swear to you i have them
i have those goals
i can see them
taste them and smell them.
and they are real
and right now they have me as the center of attention and i will focus on governing those
even as unrealistic as they may be
they are for me
and all for my satisfaction
that's why i bought 3 lottery tickets today
i really asked for 2 but the clerk at 7 11 gave me one extra by accident that i had to pay for
but i looked at that as confirmation that yes
whatever i want i will have to pay double for it
especially if its worth 900 million dollars. lol
but seriously i will reach my goals with everything in me
because i own the right to be bold
and love boldly with full confidence that my trust will not turn into hurt but an equal commitment.
i will find the treasure in my unusual circumstance
and keep pushing forward in love
i will not stop loving
and i will not need to love again because i will not allow anything or anyone to stop me
that is out of character for me to stop loving so in all actuality i will keep doing me.
no stress, worry, anxiety and fear will not be apart of my love
lost sleep is over
today i find balance and simplicity with serenity and pure bliss.
i will not delay
i will not allow my past to define me with labels
even though the night may seem a bit dark and my heart a bit fragile and torn apart.
i will still be the radiant light that lives through it
dance the dance of the scorpion
although i have been stung and the sting hurts i gain ground and sustainability through my focus.
taking one small step at a time on this new path of guided goals i center myself understanding the love i share cannot be defined.
it secrets between my lover and i run deep traveling back in existence before time.
beyond unmasked myths of truth seekers and light catchers
i define and redine the lines of our love life
beyond that of the supreme sublime
my love runs back to the rediscovery of self as we always find each other intertwined as vines beyond the price of entertaining heckles of priceless nickels and fine shiny dimes.
small steps we always move forward sometimes seeming stuck but never for too long we always have a way or interpreting codes with secret hand shakes and catchy short word phrases that catch the sparkle of the twinkle in the sky
to most it would seem scandalous and without virtue or morality
but love redefines those shocking naysayers rules and creates the before and after of the never spoken unfinished discovery of give or take.
after all the games have been played and the wars have been made.
love always finds a way to make its escape
a break through of finding and unwinding and untwisting untangling remind== ers
that he is mine
and i will always and forever be his
i am always to be found and he is always to find
i will always run and he will never be far behind.
and we will always find our way back and forth to find each other.
tantalizing and mystifying endurance captivates the soul
thirsty to honor the code of loving soul partners make.
not labeling it
or cluttering confusing terms to define the dysfunction the distinction of knowing that its between us.
makes love smarter
makes the genius emerge within
using light and energy to always find that perfect blend beyond comparison
understanding that we are free through our fear in a place of wholeness through the realism
that fear is only an illusion.
it is fraudulent
it is bankrupt
it holds not equity.
we welcome
what is true
what is love and
what is light
with gentle kisses
warm wishes
loving embraces
soft gazes
and satisfying stimulations
from beginning to end
amazingly
suddenly
immaculately
not as a finale
but as
finally.
as I surely live and breathe I did it.
I told him Wednesday that I wouldn't put up with it any more and I did it
I thought I would die doing it
but im still here and well lets just sell after all the crying stopped I can see clearly out of my eyes. (literally)
I wrote runners today just as a way to say that soul mates will always end up back together better in the future. I don't have an expected outcome any more I have relinquished the idea of anything futuristically. I just want peace right now for me and for my own mental stability. I want to be single.
Runners
I will never give up on love
or on us
I will love with confidence
that one day I will have a life chaging romance with him
not just the idea
but actually his person
wholly
i will have the romance I dream of with the right to everything fair and equal.
i will not settle for less
nor will i hide from love
when its love
it just works and you know it
im certain i will recover
and
i will bounce back from hurt pain and loss
i am setting up new goals for myself now
and focusing on them with a heavy urgency to get them done
even though i haven't started them yet
and it seems difficult to even get focused to pursue them
but i swear to you i have them
i have those goals
i can see them
taste them and smell them.
and they are real
and right now they have me as the center of attention and i will focus on governing those
even as unrealistic as they may be
they are for me
and all for my satisfaction
that's why i bought 3 lottery tickets today
i really asked for 2 but the clerk at 7 11 gave me one extra by accident that i had to pay for
but i looked at that as confirmation that yes
whatever i want i will have to pay double for it
especially if its worth 900 million dollars. lol
but seriously i will reach my goals with everything in me
because i own the right to be bold
and love boldly with full confidence that my trust will not turn into hurt but an equal commitment.
i will find the treasure in my unusual circumstance
and keep pushing forward in love
i will not stop loving
and i will not need to love again because i will not allow anything or anyone to stop me
that is out of character for me to stop loving so in all actuality i will keep doing me.
no stress, worry, anxiety and fear will not be apart of my love
lost sleep is over
today i find balance and simplicity with serenity and pure bliss.
i will not delay
i will not allow my past to define me with labels
even though the night may seem a bit dark and my heart a bit fragile and torn apart.
i will still be the radiant light that lives through it
dance the dance of the scorpion
although i have been stung and the sting hurts i gain ground and sustainability through my focus.
taking one small step at a time on this new path of guided goals i center myself understanding the love i share cannot be defined.
it secrets between my lover and i run deep traveling back in existence before time.
beyond unmasked myths of truth seekers and light catchers
i define and redine the lines of our love life
beyond that of the supreme sublime
my love runs back to the rediscovery of self as we always find each other intertwined as vines beyond the price of entertaining heckles of priceless nickels and fine shiny dimes.
small steps we always move forward sometimes seeming stuck but never for too long we always have a way or interpreting codes with secret hand shakes and catchy short word phrases that catch the sparkle of the twinkle in the sky
to most it would seem scandalous and without virtue or morality
but love redefines those shocking naysayers rules and creates the before and after of the never spoken unfinished discovery of give or take.
after all the games have been played and the wars have been made.
love always finds a way to make its escape
a break through of finding and unwinding and untwisting untangling remind== ers
that he is mine
and i will always and forever be his
i am always to be found and he is always to find
i will always run and he will never be far behind.
and we will always find our way back and forth to find each other.
tantalizing and mystifying endurance captivates the soul
thirsty to honor the code of loving soul partners make.
not labeling it
or cluttering confusing terms to define the dysfunction the distinction of knowing that its between us.
makes love smarter
makes the genius emerge within
using light and energy to always find that perfect blend beyond comparison
understanding that we are free through our fear in a place of wholeness through the realism
that fear is only an illusion.
it is fraudulent
it is bankrupt
it holds not equity.
we welcome
what is true
what is love and
what is light
with gentle kisses
warm wishes
loving embraces
soft gazes
and satisfying stimulations
from beginning to end
amazingly
suddenly
immaculately
not as a finale
but as
finally.
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